heartbreak happens to everyone. You Are Not Alone.

 Too many people talk about love, when it doesn't exist.
Too many people have complained about heart break, when it's not really there.
Too many people have given up, when it hasn't even begun.
But I feel like it does exist, and it's there, beneath everything else, all the happiness all the pretending, the breaking is there, and even as it heals I can feel the prick of each stitch as they pierce deeper and deeper, repairing what is broke.
I'm 16, not some 60 year old looking back with regret at all the people I've lost. I've only lost one, but that one little truth made the rest of my life feel like a lie. I know you're reading this thinking I must be some over-dramatic love lust teenager who's just lost a boyfriend, or a depressed teen pouring my life into tumblr. But I'm not. I'm me. I'm happy. but some things just need to be said and by typing it to be read by people who may not even care enough to finish the entry seemed like my best bet. I don't want all the sympathy or questions, I just want to feel as though I'm sharing my problem, like I'm not alone any more.
So, I'm Jess (in case you haven't read my profile) and a couple years ago my parents split up, I know it happens to a lot of people, but I felt it hit hard. I'll spare you the details, but it wasn't anything gory or violent, just one day my father was here, and the next he wasn't. he just left. I expected it, I had countless sleepless nights as I heard my parents screaming at eachother, he cheated, simple as that. my mum wouldnt hurt a fly, she's the single kindest person I know, but she was living in fear. we were living in fear. my dad's a good man, but a good man with a temper, he never hit me, or her, but he hit other things, striking fear into the family in those short moments. But he is a good man, like I said. for years we were this perfect loving family, but that day changed everything. I wasnt there for the break up, I was at a friends, I was last to know. which tore me apart, I already felt insignificant to everyone else, getting pushed out of the picture. I hadnt even heard about what happened, but I felt empty inside in that moment. as I came home it wasn't the same. the family had drifted and it was silent, I was only 11, but I had so much responsibility thrown upon me as my mum went out with friends most nights and worked others. I was alone and broken, but acted whole as my brother and I put ourselves to bed for months.
every valentines day since I could remember, I would look at their cards as a reminder that they do love each other, that we aren't just playing pretend. valentines day is my birthday, and those cards gave me the piece of mind and happiness I needed to enjoy the day. but after the split, it felt empty.
I know it was ages ago, but the split up was just the beginning of a chain reaction for me, as the years went on me and my mum weren't the same, we didn't speak, and when we did, we argued. people pointed out she favouritised, even her boyfriends could see it, and it made me feel like nothing. I had a purpose before my parents split up, I was there for her, to catch her when she fell, but now. now I have nothing, she doesn't need me to protect her, she had boyfriends for that. I felt like there was nothing left for me, don't get me wrong, I wasn't suicidal or anything, I just felt like I was drifting through life, not actually living. That's what I feel heartbreak is like. Losing everything you love in a split second, the reason you live each day just like that. Gone. 

I don't know where from, I don't know who by,
but it's beautiful.

So don't go and tell me I'm too young to have experienced heart break, don't tell me i'm being pathetic and it happens to everyone. Because maybe, just maybe, i'm not as strong as everyone else, and that broke me. 
Simply writing this down has helped me already, i'm not alone and I know that. there are people going through worse and I know that, but I hope those people who are struggling may see this and not feel alone themselves, because things get better, I know my problem was a small one, but so many people go through it and my problem did get worse, but now it's better, I'm waiting for my purpose in life and that's okay, because I'm living and I have those happy moments which remind me just how amazing it is to feel alive.
Things get better, I know you may doubt it, not believe it and even curse it, but it's true. Things never stay the same and the pendulum always has to fly the other way.

Please remember this. It took me a while to post this, so if you made it to the end, thank you.